Puffs of smoke fill my car as I pound back swigs of coffee from my thermos for breakfast. I crack the window for air and am enthralled by the winter chill.
And regrettably, I have to stop by my place of work. I have to retrieve the jacket I drunkenly left behind the night before. And although I'm hoping to do this undetected, hoping to be in and out, a ship passing in the night, that simply doesn't happen.
As soon as I breach the main entrance of the building, I run into a PhD who frequents the café. His fiancé is present and I try my hardest to best display a sense of normalcy. I shake hands and smile so warmly and convincingly. Try to keep hidden, this trembling core that is worried if it doesn't walk among the trees within an immediate future it will explode.
I don't believe I pass though. The averted eyes and stern suggestion that work needs attention gives me the greatest sensation of failure.
But I am relieved when they march off down the hallway and I'm free to grab my coat from the backroom. Hurry far away.
And the woods welcome me like they always do. The soft flow of streams and crackle of trees swaying in the wind is pure nourishment. An absolute elixir. I walk slow. Because I'm in no rush to return to the awkward situations I gravitate towards when among other people. The ill conceived ideas and poor decisions I make afterwards.
They can all wait.
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